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Astrid Reza

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Astrid Reza

Penulis. Peramu. Pejalan.
A Writer. A Nomad Gatherers.

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astrid.reza@gmail.com

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Rindu
Dalam Diam
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Officially missing these ladies @alterjiwo @shintasoemarso and our forest picnic. Yes, that’s including going madly dancing like the devil may care among these trees 🧙‍♀️💃🏽🌳 #pineforest #hutanpinus #pengger #gunungkidul #yogyakarta #jawa #java #throwback 📷:@alterjiwo

TUESDAY EARLY DINNER Simple Salmon Pan Grilled with Shoyu Koji Mushroom Tofu Veggie Soup (Dashi+Butter+Garlic Base) Feeling like an early dinner like this, with the sweating perspiring sensation in the coming moonsoon season but no rain in Southern Jogja yet. Am running out of my homemade shoyu koji 😭, should make more when you are back @mrsmorotomi 😜 #makefromscratch #koji #simplecooking #dinner #japanesefood #japanesecooking #fusion #homemadefood #fermentation #kitchengoddess #bancidapur #tuesday

Yesterday was the 10th year passing away of my father. A best friend of mine remind me and I found these old photos again back in Armidale in 1983-1984. So this was the first man who gave me nurturance and literally change my diapers when my mother was busy doing her thesis. He was a humble man back in the 80s having all the time in the world after finishing his own thesis and gave all his love to take care of me. Growing in a patriarchal society of Indonesian, did not make him back down to do all the household thing and bravely entering the diaper changing games 😂 He always said it was his best time in his life when I poo on him, LOL. My father was a loud guy, very expressive in showing his love, affectionate, sometimes flamboyant (being a Libra 😉) and caring. In the first 23 years of my life, he was my superhero. But all of that changed when he lost my mother. I do not know him anymore. He was lost to me until the end of his days. He did not even held my son yet when he died and I found myself holding my anger when I felt I am not supposed to in front of his coffin. I felt he betrayed me without understanding why. How did our love come to this? I asked myself then. How did things flip between us? He gave me a phone call early morning when I was breastfeeding my son saying sorry for everything while crying. I was confused that morning and two weeks later he died. My son was two months old. Ten years later I found myself sharing these moments of vulnerability. Somehow its something I am currently working on in order to understand myself and my relationships better. It can’t be help that things I had with my father created patterns in my relationships with man. I found myself writing to him the first time three years ago while in Dharamsala. It was supposed to be his 74th birthday then. I burn those letter that morning and I hope he got them. This is my second one. . . #reflections #family #father #fatherhood #myfather #healing #death #healingjourney #familyhistory #notesonmyfather #armidale #1980s #oldphotos #healingthemasculine #letters #vulnerability #nostalgia #papi

Happiness is to find a slow afternoon to go back reading again and feed your mind ❤️ After three years of thinking to get a Kindle, mine finally arrived at my door today. And am shifting my books consumption. For lighter travel, stop growing books in my library 😂 and stop cutting trees 🌳🌳🌳 ✨✨✨ . . . #slowingdown #reading #imissstudying #readinggeek #geeklife🤓 #books #kindle #savetrees #towardzerowaste #changing #shift #newhabit #chimamandangoziadichie #weshouldallbefeminists

Thankful for this mama earth goodness and the farmers who grow them, the people who deliver them to my house. I see you. I feel you. And thank you for nourishing me with your energy. May all of us can return it back to our mother 🌏🙏✨✨✨ Carrots from @eec_farm and beetroot from @jogjaorganic ❤️ #slowjuicing #selfcare #drinkyourveggies #buatsendiriminumanmu #farmtotable #motherearth #goodness #takecare #selflove #growyourfood #supportyourfarmers

THE BOY WHO GIVE ME SPACE Sometimes late at night and finding myself finishing my errands silently, this ten year old boy never failed to amazed me. Especially when peacefully asleep like tonight. At his own room. My 10 years worth of supposed to be single parenthood teach me that am not alone in raising this human. Our lives teaches us to find the right people, the places we can call home including the dynamic of our surroundings. The changes we went through to keep on growing. But above all that, this cutie little man I called my son is the one who understand completely my needs of space. When others has failed and overwhelm my boundaries. My room to breathe, to regain, recharge and finding myself over and over. Motherhood isn’t magic. It’s so easy to slip and sacrifice yourself over everything. Just because you think you have to. When you don’t and can have the space to own yourself fully. And unashamedly be yourself. Having both of our moon in Sagittarius, having space for us is what make our emotions fulfilled. To find this qualities and lack of insecurities in this boy is what makes me believe in good karma. That one good human is on its way to grow and spread his wings of light very soon. I love you, Asabhumy, always, all ways ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for giving me back my room ✨🙏 #motherhood #singleparenting #motherandson #family #bond #asabhumy #gratitude #growing #love #life #reflection #mooninsagittarius

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astridreza in prosa December 2, 2003 5 Words

kita sedang menanggalkan luka-luka kita

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